BragiG Táp og gys

Táp og gys

Nokkur augljós atriði..

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid £6 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Nokkrar merkar staðreyndir, þannig..

1. Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?

2. Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex?

3. Every day, 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents.

4. The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year.

5. Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world.

6. The average person laughs 13 times a day.

7. Elvis was originally blond.

8. The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old.

9. The average erect penis is 5'2" long - and 4'2" circumcised.

10. Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing.

11. 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously.

12. 20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexsual experience.

13. Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?

14. 22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britian.

15. 96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm.

16. 3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue.

17. The 'Guiness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in the public libraries.

18. Butterflies taste with their feet.

19. 5% of the population is gay.

20. The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola'.

21. The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue.

22. Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'.

23. In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank because a Russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet.

24. Only one book has been printed in more copies than the Bible - the IKEA-catalogue.

25. One cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life.

26. In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people.

27. 'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants.

28. 74% of all nudist-females are nudists because their husbands are nudists.

29. More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders.

30. 21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep.

31. Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm? - unfortunately it got stolen.

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